How the Birds Picked a King
[inside Book 3. Crows and Owls]
And they said: "We have in Garuda a king, to be sure. But he is ever intent on serving holy Vishnu, and pays no heed to us. What is the good of a sham king? He does not defend us when we are in genuine distress - when we are caught in traps, for instance. There is a saying:
Only one, but anyone
Is my king, when all is done -
Only one who will restore
Health and joy I felt before:
Anyone, but only one -
For the moon a single sun.
"Any other is king only in name. As the poet says:
Let him calm the panting breath
Of his people, quivering
Under blows; or he is Death
Masquerading as a king.
And again:
These six should every man avoid
Like leaky ships at sea -
A dull professor; and a priest
Without theology;
A king who does not give defence;
A wife whose tongue can slash;
A cowboy hankering for town;
A barber after cash.
We must therefore pitch upon someone else as king of the birds."
Thereupon, observing that the owl had a venerable appearance, they all said: "Let this owl be our king. And let a plentiful supply be provided of all substances prescribed for the anointing of a king."
Straightway water was brought from various holy streams; a bouquet of one hundred and eight roots was provided, including the one marked with a wheel and the yellow-stemmed lotus; and the lion-throne was set in place. Moreover, there was drawn on the ground a relief map of the seven continents, oceans, and mountains. A tiger-skin was spread. Golden jars were filled with five twigs, blossoms and grains; oblations were prepared; the most eminent bards chanted poetry. Furthermore, Brahmans, skilled in reciting the four Vedas, also chanted, while maidens sang songs, sweet holiday songs being their specialty. In the forefront was prepared a vessel of consecrated rice set off with white mustard, parched grain, rice-grains, yellow pigment, wreaths of flowers, conch-shells, and so forth. The materials for lustration ceremonies were provided, and holiday drums rumbled. In the midst of a consecrated spot strewn with potash stood the lion-throne, adorned by the person of the owl as he waited the anointing.
At that moment a crow came into the assembly from nobody knew where, announcing his entrance with a raucous caw. And he thought: "Well, well! What means this gathering of all the birds, and this great festival?"
But when the birds saw him, they whispered together: "He is the shrewdest of the birds, they say. So let us have a speech from him, too. For the proverb says:
Of men, the barber smartest is;
The jackal, of the beasts;
The crow is cleverest of birds;
The White-Robe, of the priests.
And besides:
Concerted counsels of the wise,
If heedfully thought through,
Will never founder, being sound
From every point of view."
So the birds said to the crow: "You know, the birds have no king. They have therefore decided unanimously to anoint this owl as their supreme monarch. Please express your opinion also. You come in the nick of time."
Then the crow laughed and said: "Gentlemen, this is foolish. When you have eminent swans, peacocks, nightingales, partridges, sheldrakes, pigeons, cranes, and others, why anoint this ugly-faced fellow who is blind in the daytime? It seems wrong to me. For
Big hooked nose, and eyes asquint,
Ugly face without a hint
Of tenderness or beauty in it.
Good-natured, it is fierce to see;
If he were mad, what might it be?
And furthermore:
Ugly, cruel, full of spleen,
Every word he speaks is mean;
If you make the owl your king,
You will fail in everything.
Besides, when Garuda is your king, what is this fellow good for? Suppose he has virtue, still a second king is not a good idea when you already have one. For the saying runs:
A single king of lordly sway
Is good; but more than one will slay,
Like plural suns on Judgement Day.
Why, the very name of your genuine king keeps others from taking liberties. As the proverb puts it:
Mere mention of a lordly monarch's name
To mean men, straightway saves from loss and shame.
And there is a saying:
The feigning of a great commission
Immensely betters your condition:
Feigning a message from the moon,
The rabbits dwelt in comfort soon."
"How was that?" asked the birds. And the crow told How the Rabbit Fooled the Elephant.*
"And that is why I say:
The feigning of a great commission
Immensely betters your condition:
Feigning a message from the moon,
The rabbits dwelt in comfort soon."
"But worse remains behind. The owl is a seedy rascal, with a wicked soul. He could never protect subjects. Or rather, to say nothing of protection, you may anticipate actual danger from him. You know the stanza:
A seedy umpire is not very
Pleasing to either adversary:
Rabbit and partridge teach you that -
They died, confiding in the cat."
"How was that? Tell us about it,"' said the birds, and the crow told the story of
The Cat's Judgement.*
"And that is why I say:
A seedy umpire is not very
Pleasing to either adversary:
Rabbit and partridge teach you that -
They died, confiding in the cat."
"Just so, you, too, being blind at night, if you take as overlord this seedy fellow who is blind in the daytime, will go the way of the rabbit and the partridge. Reflect on this, then do what seems proper."
And all the birds, after listening to the crow's remarks, said: "He speaks well," and they flew to their homes, planning to reassemble for consultation on the question of a king.
Only the owl remained with his consort, for he was blind in the daytime. There he sat in his chair of state, awaiting the anointing. And he called out: "Ho, there! Who takes my orders? Why is the ceremony delayed?"
Thereupon his consort said: "My dear sir, the crow has found means to hold up the ceremony. And the birds have gone flying away. Only that crow, for some reason or other, remains here all alone. Rise at once, and I will conduct you home."
Then the owl was deeply disappointed, and he said: "You monster! Why have you wronged me by preventing the regal anointing? From this day there is enmity between us. For the proverb says:
When arrows pierce or axes wound
A tree, it grows together sound;
From cruel, ugly speech you feel
A wound that time will never heal."
Thereupon he went home with his consort, while the crow reflected: "Dear me! I have burdened myself with a needless enmity by speaking so. I should have remembered:
All spoken words, if harsh and heedless
And inappropriate and needless,
Are self-condemnatory slips
That turn to poison on the lips.
And again:
However wise and strong you be,
Beware the needless enemy:
You would not swallow poison down
Because a doctor lives in town.
No man of sense vituperates
Another, while the public waits;
For even truth should be concealed,
If causing sorrow when revealed.
And finally:
Reflect with many a chosen friend;
Reflect alone, and to the end;
Then act. You are intelligent,
And fame's and wealth's recipient."
After these reflections, the crow also left the spot.
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